


Breathing Underwater

by softballum



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder/PTSD, Slow Burn, Therapist Callum/Patient Ben, Therapist/Patient relationship, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27007873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softballum/pseuds/softballum
Summary: the boat crash provoked a fast, downward spiral for ben. a turning point pushed him towards a therapy program in australia and a boy named callum highway.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 13
Kudos: 19





	Breathing Underwater

It had been a week since the boat crash and Ben had barely been home, he was too busy drinking himself into oblivion. Typical Ben, the worst coping mechanisms in the world. He had given up all responsibilities of being a dad and the one time he had seen Lexi since the boat crash he was beyond the point of ‘drunk’. No one could get through to him: Kathy, Phil, Lola, Jay, Frankie, Ian. None of them.

“We can’t do this any longer. It’s only going to get worse if we don’t do something, I know he’s being a prat but he’s clearly struggling” Lola spoke, “and Lexi needs her dad back” 

They all silently agreed.

“He’s going off the rails” Jay said. 

Kathy shot him a long stare, “Thanks Jay. Very helpful.” she spoke sarcastically but no one could tell if she was trying to lift the mood or if she was genuinely angry at Jay. Either way they quickly moved on. 

“I’ve got in touch with a counsellor, but how are we going to get him to talk? He’s not talking to his own daughter never mind some stranger.” Ian sighed.

“I know but-“

They all flinched as the back door banged shut. 

Ben walked into the room immediately laughing at the worried looks. “Oh look, they’re all here” He yelled the slurred words out.

“This is ridiculous. Look at you Ben. We know you’re struggling. You need to accept help.” 

“Whatever, I’m going for a shower”

“Well that went well” Frankie laughed which only gained her daggers from everyone except Jay who was doing his best to contain the laughter.

Lola untangled herself from Jay noticing that Ben had been in the shower for over half an hour, “You need to go check on him” 

“Lo, he’ll have left the shower on for badness but yes, I’ll go check on him” Jay replied.

As Jay reached the landing at the top of the stairs he could see that Ben wasn’t in his room. Thank god for Lola’s maternal instinct. 

“Mate. What are you doing in there?” he called out. 

He frowned after getting no response, the knock on the door also getting ignored. He pushed the door open slightly and couldn’t believe what his eyes fell upon, “Fuck.”

“Lola” he yelled. 

He burst into the bathroom and immediately turned the shower off. Ben felt the slightest bit of relief as someone who he hadn’t even registered yet pulled him to his feet. Jay helped him along to his bedroom, lying him down on the bed and yelling at Lola to hurry up.

Lola pushed in front of Jay kneeling in front of Ben. “Hey. Ben! You’re alright. We’re here. Ben. Look at me - You’re okay” he tried to focus on Lola. 

“That’s it” she reassured him. “You’re okay mate” Jay spoke softly.

“Deep breaths, yeah?” she said, taking his hand in hers.

Ben tried to mimic her breathing, focusing on her completely. Their close contact helped him to copy her breathing rhythm. Lola looked towards Jay, “Call Kathy” 

Jay left the room as Lola continued to comfort Ben, “You’re alright” 

The panicked breathing and uncontrollable tears began to subside, everything settled and he was left drained. Lola repositioned him in the bed pulling the covers over him, “Get some rest babe.”

Kathy rushed in firing a hundred questions at Lola, Jay and Phil, “Where is he?”

“Bedroom. Sleeping” Lola spoke firmly.

“What happened?” she asked. 

Lola replied nervously, “Jay found him on the shower floor, Kathy. He’s had a really bad panic attack. We think this might have been his first time showering since the boat crash” 

Kathy’s face fell realising the depth of her son’s emotional state, “Ian is just coming over with Frankie, he’s called that counsellor again” 

They all nodded in understanding. They settled down in the living room with cups of tea and coffee, Frankie and Ian arriving a short while after. 

“Is he in his bedroom?” Frankie questioned.

Lola replied, “Yes”

“I’m just going to grab some water for him” she smiled.

Frankie disappeared off upstairs as Ian broke the silence, “I got an email from the counsellor I got in touch with” 

“And?” 

“She thinks Ben is suffering from PTSD. She can come over to talk to Ben tomorrow.” 

“Good. He needs to talk to someone” Kathy replied, the adrenaline and anxiety still rushing through her body.

Ben had been sleeping for nearly 30 hours when Frankie went to wake him up. She carefully opened the door trying not to let too much light shine through until Ben had fully woken up. She walked over to the bed, kneeling down and began to shake Ben’s shoulder.

“Ben. Ben, wake up. There’s someone here to see you” Frankie smiled softly.

He was groggy as he tried his best to focus on Frankie, “Who?” 

“Just come with me?” she asked grabbing Ben’s hand and pulling him up.

Frankie helped him through to the living room to meet a younger woman sitting on the sofa, “Hi Ben, I’m Faith. I’m a counsellor” 

Ben threw daggers at everyone else standing in the room, they all knew this is the last thing that Ben would have wanted but that it was totally necessary. Kathy shot Ben the typical ‘mum’ look, gesturing for him to sit down and at least try.

Faith noticed that they were all about to sit down and crowd around her and Ben, “It’s better if I talk with Ben alone” 

“Right. Yeah” Kathy smiled nervously as they all slowly filed out of the room.

“Okay Ben, let’s get started”

Ben and Faith had been speaking for almost two hours before Faith called them back into the living room, Jay and Lola had gone to pick up Lexi from school so it was Kathy, Phil, Ian and Frankie who were left.

“Ben, are you okay for me to do this? I can talk to them in private if you would prefer?” she asked softly. He shook his head but smiled at her caring nature.

“Hey” Kathy said taking the seat beside her son. This was the ‘nightmare situation’ for Ben, everyone looking at him, everyone seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

“Me and Ben have made some progress together and his mental state is better than yesterday which is really positive!” she encouraged. “However, his physical progress is something that needs to be discussed. I have spoken about this with Ben and I’d like to recommend a treatment.” 

“What is it?” Kathy eagerly questioned desperate to figure out what Ben’s options are.

“It may sound a little out there but it’s highly successful. There is a centre in Australia that runs a Dolphin Therapy program, it’s recommended for people who are suffering from a fear of the water. They have both counsellors and physical therapists that run the therapy program, most patients see a significant change within three months.” 

“Wait? He would need to be out there for three months?” Ian questioned, a little aggressive.

“Yes. In my opinion, that would be the typical time frame someone in Ben’s situation would need. It may take longer, it completely depends on how Ben reacts to the treatment, if he wants to do it of course” 

Ben hadn’t looked up from the floor once, not at all. Faith tried to be positive and encouraging but all he wanted to do was run. Everyone in the room could sense that.

“The program is funded however I realise the living costs may be a problem.” 

Phil interrupted, “The money isn’t an issue. Not at all. It’s more the fact that me and Kathy can’t leave the square for that length of time, and Lola and Jay aren’t an option because of Lexi.” 

“It’s fine, I’m not too sure any-“ 

“I’ll go” Frankie interrupted. 

Ben snapped out of the trance he was in and looked over at Frankie, “No. You have a life here, friends, a flat, a job. You can’t just leave everything behind for me.” 

“Ben, if you’re doing this i’m coming with you. I’m a photographer, I can take photographs anywhere. I think people will prefer pictures of Australia instead of this dump anyway, and The Albert can survive without their best barmaid for a few months” answered Frankie with a soft smile. 

They all glanced at Frankie silently making sure she was okay with this, they didn’t want to say it in front of Ben but it was a huge commitment.

Frankie looked back at Ben unsure whether to ask now or give him some time, “Ben, what do you think?”

“I just want to be fixed” he cried, the massive lump in his throat was preventing him from saying anything else.

There was an awkward tension in the room at this point, they all felt like they were standing over this broken boy. This was Ben’s breaking point, they had never seen him this distraught and who could blame him? He nearly died.

Kathy pulled him in close whispering reassuring words in his ear, “I know darlin’. We’re going to get you better, alright?”

Ben nodded and looked up from the floor wiping his tears away on the side of his jumper, “Frankie, are you sure you’re okay with this?” 

“What kind of question is that? As if I would ever turn a free holiday in the sun down” she smiled, lightening the tone.

“Let’s do it” he replied softly.

“Okay then” Phil replied, turning to Faith to ask “how long will this take?” 

Faith smiled, “If you’re sure Ben, they have an opening now. I contacted them before I met with you just in case. I would recommend starting the therapy as soon as possible, so it’s more a question of how quickly can you get on a plane?”

Ben’s feelings were a mixture between absolutely terrified and relieved, in a way. As soon as Faith had confirmed his place they booked his and Frankie’s tickets more or less there and then. He supposed he was lucky that he worked with his dad and best mate in that sense, time off wasn’t exactly a great issue. 

Ben and Frankie found themselves on a plane just two days later, saying goodbye to Lexi was the hardest thing but he was doing this for her as much as he was doing it for himself.

“This is it” Frankie smiled, taking Ben’s hand in hers.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far, thank you so much for coping with this terrible attempt at a fan fiction. updates are probably going to be weekly, but the first few chapters will be up quicker. hope you're all keeping well, happy and healthy during this time!


End file.
